Kiss This
by Mystic25
Summary: DA/"Never Been Kissed" Crossover What would happen if Kierstin (Alba's role in "Never Been Kissed") and Max crossed paths? Well this is how I picture it. thanks to the first reviewer for clearing up the name, I corrected that and got it re-posted


TITLE: "Kiss This"  
AUTHOR: Mystic25  
EMAIL: yellowrubberduck31@hotmail.com  
  
RATING: PG  
  
CATEGORY: Dark Angel/Never Been Kissed Crossover  
  
SUMMARY: What would happen if Kierstin (Alba's role in "Never Been Kissed") and Max crossed paths? Well this is how I picture it.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Cameron owns my fav show and it's characters and the cast of "Never Been Kissed" belong to whoever made it   
(I forgot)  
  
A/N: "Never Been Kissed" came on USA for two straight nights in a row. I never knew Alba was in it until I watched it last night, because the last time I saw the movie "Dark Angel" hadn't been created yet. Jess did a good job playing ditzy, though I still like her better now. I had this idea swirling around in my head for a few days and thought what the hell? If I messed up with some of the names, I apologize; I didn't have a script to reference.  
  
A/N #2: I am aware of the fact that "Never Been Kissed" and "Dark Angel" are set almost 21 years apart from each other, but I have chosen to ignore that for this fic. There was no plausible explanation I could come up with to put these two characters in the same place otherwise. So don't point that out to me, it was done on purpose. Oh and Max has no virus here, because, well- I said so.  
  
*****   
  
SOUTH GLEN HIGH SCHOOL  
  
Kierstin got more comfortable in her seat by crossing her legs under her desk. She yanked her black velvet handbag on top of the dirty and written on surface and grabbed a pink nail file from among the clutter of 'All Day Mascara' and about five different shades of pink lipstick.  
  
She began filing in long strokes on her French Manicured nails, working the file all around the base of the acrylic nails, and paying absolutely no attention to what her English teacher was saying.  
  
"Nice" her best friend Gibby admired her nails from her seat "Where'd you get them done?"  
  
"Rick Lane's" Kierstin stated proudly holding up her hand to let her see "Good deal, ten dollars for one hand"  
  
"Take me after we get done?" Gibby asked  
  
"Defiantly, one chipped anyways. I'm gonna go complain." Kierstin looked at the base of one nail, at the microscopic chip in her pinky nail /I paid good money for these, he'll just have to re-do them all/  
  
"Ladies" the teacher, Mr. Coolston drew Kierstin out of her thoughts "We only have open discussion when I assign it"  
  
"Sorry" Kierstin apologized "But I am in the middle of a crisis here" her voice was high, with a slight whine in it.  
  
"And I am in the middle of class" Coolston informed, crossing his arms over his chest. His remark produced laughter from the other students. "Guys settle down, c'mon" he looked back to Kierstin "I know your graduating in three weeks but you won't make it to the stage if you don't pass your English final, so I suggest you pay attention"  
  
"I'll get right on it" Kierstin offered him a smile, not wanting to upset Coolston. Even though he was dating that reporter chick, she still found him hot.  
  
"Great" Coolston returned her smile, and when back to what he was teaching, "One third of your exam will be from the material that we covered on Shakespeare-" his students groaned at his remark.  
  
"Why we gotta take an exam on something we won't use?" that voice came from Kierstin's boyfriend.  
  
"You will use it" Coolston informed "On my exam, and probably on some of the test you'll be taking in college." he let the remark drop after that. These kids always complained about anything that wasn't about the pop culture, save for a few of them. They were good kids; they just fell into that high school life caste system that teenagers often succumbed to. "Now we've read "As You Like It" Mac Beth, and Hamlet, most of them will be multiple choice but they'll also be three essay questions for each play, asking for an interpretation about a certain passage" another session of groans insured.  
  
"What if we can't remember it all?" Kristen, a girl in the third row asked.  
  
From the back seat Ellawese rolled her eyes at the question, resting her chin on her arm, preparing for another dimwitted discussion.  
  
"I'm not asking you to memorize the whole thing word for word Kristin" Coolston tried to calm her fears "I'll give you the passage, and after you've read it over, they'll be a question on it from what you just read. It'll be your opinion about the section. The only way you can get it wrong is if you don't write anything, or go way off base from the topic."  
  
"Think that's what she's afraid of" Ella whispered to her friend behind her.  
  
This declaration from her teacher only proved to make Kristin more nervous then she already was "I need time by the pool and a good Brad Pitt movie"  
  
"Let's go rent "Legends of the Falls" Kierstin spoke out "We can get ample view of a hottie-"  
  
"No girl" Gibby interrupted "Leo's a hottie, should get Titanic-"  
  
"Yeah but I hate Kate Winslet" Kristin broke in "Can't enjoy Leo with that bitch in the way"  
  
"Ladies, have you forgotten where you are?" Coolston's voice interrupted their conversation "Can we get back to the task at hand please?"  
  
*****   
  
"So you missed the turn?" Max looked over to Logan in the driver's seat of his Aztec, an unfolded map in her resting across her lap  
  
"Yeah" Logan agreed, keeping his eyes on the road.  
  
"And you have NO idea where we are?" Max asked a one-way question  
  
"Haven't a clue" he answered  
  
"Is admitting the God's honest truth suppose to give you points or somethin'?" she snapped back, turning her head to look out the window at the scenery of trees that they saw for the last half hour.  
  
"Well I don't think that lying would be appropriate right now Max" Logan told her. "We just have to find someplace to ask directions."  
  
Max faced him again "A man who asks directions when he's lost" she shot him a raised eyebrow look "Least I know we just entered the Twilight Zone" she looked down at the map again.  
  
"Thought you had tracking abilities" Logan stated  
  
"This isn't tracking Logan" Max pointed out to him "Give me thirty miles of woods with nothing but a compass and the stars and I'm your girl. This, this is just aimless wandering. I didn't get my training in that department." she paused "Sides it's not like this guy has other pressing engagements"   
  
"What makes you so sure?" Logan asked  
  
"He's related to you" Max stated, "Therefore he has no life"  
  
They were on their way to meet up with a cousin of Logan's who wanted him to come up with a 'guest'. Max had been reluctant to go at first, saying that she had engagements with Original Cindy, but Logan managed to convince her to come.  
  
"Thank you" Logan remarked, "I'll file that away with all of the other nice things you've ever said to me"  
  
"Bet it's a big file by now" Max remarked.  
  
"Oh it's huge" Logan threw out, smiling to let her know he was being sarcastic.  
  
After a few more minutes of driving, they finally made it to a town, and the first building they chanced upon was a school. A red and white sign stood out front reading:  
  
South Glen High School: Home of the Rams   
GRAD IN THREE WEEKS.   
  
"Guess this is as good a place as any" Logan said, turning into the large high school.  
  
"You're asking here?" Max took in the courtyard areas and senior parking lot filled with Gremlins and Geos /don't these kids know anything?/   
  
"What's wrong with that?" Logan asked, searching for a visitor parking space.  
  
"Ever heard of gas stations?" she asked a question for an answer.  
  
"I'm not going to get directions from a place that has a standing run of leading people no where, except to another service station where THAT guy will give you different directions to the same place"  
  
Max realized that he was right about that "Should do an Eyes Only report on it," she remarked as he parked the car.  
  
"Won't help Max" Logan told her "It's an unstoppable phenomenon"  
  
They exited the Aztec, Logan locking the door with the keyless lock.   
  
"Don't really have to worry about that" Max stated, "Judging by their taste in cars, I say you're relatively safe"  
  
"Don't they know that Gremlins make great road accordions?" Logan looked at the senior class's vehicles.   
  
They walked down the sidewalk, heading into the main office. Max came through first when Logan held the door open for her.  
  
One of the ladies working behind the desk, looked up from the paperwork on her desk "Yes, can I help you?"  
  
"Need to know how to get to Chaton City" Logan spoke out  
  
The woman looked at him like he asked for the moon "You're way off for that sir, the exit for Chaton is at least a twenty mile drive back south. Do you have a map?"  
  
"Apparently it wasn't helping" Max informed the woman, looking around at the senior composite photos from the different graduating classes tacked to bulletin boards, and ribbons won from cheerleading competitions. /God, this place is so normal its scary./   
  
The lady got up from her seat "I think if you take Hensey Rd. that should lead you back out to the highway"  
  
"Hensey doesn't access to the highway Rhoda," the woman's coworker informed from behind her desk.   
  
"I thought it did-" Rhoda began "Oh wait, your right. Damn, I don't know then." she looked at Max and Logan apologetically "I'm sorry, I thought I knew"  
  
"That's all right," Logan told her "Thanks anyway-"  
  
"Wait" Rhoda interrupted "Sam would know. He got outta here enough when he saw that girlfriend in New York"  
  
"Never liked her," the other woman stated  
  
/Yeah, can we get on with this?/ "Is Sam a teacher?" Max asked, breaking them out of the gossip.   
  
"English" Rhoda confirmed "His room's 402, in the third building on the right. You can stop in and ask him-"  
  
"Won't that interrupt his class?" Logan questioned  
  
"Probably not" Rhoda informed "He's got all seniors, and with it being this close to graduation it's unlikely they're getting anything done. He won't mind, just you or your wife knock before you go in"  
  
"Thank you" Logan responded to the woman's suggestion.   
  
"Let's go" Max ignored Rhoda's remark about her marital status.   
  
"This place reminds me of my high school" Logan stated on their way to see the teacher. "Little bigger, but the same kind of women working in the office"  
  
"Place I went to was small" Max told him "Lot of the kids were home schooled, the ones that weren't drove me crazy, they just fell into too many stupid clicks"  
  
"Law of High School" Logan informed "Unwritten, but everyone knows it"  
  
"Yeah, but no preppy girls gave me a second look after I took out this one guy of theirs after school who was hitting on me.  
They just avoided me after that"  
  
Logan looked at her "Sure you had other friends"  
  
"A few" Max told him "But I quit going after a few weeks. Most of the stuff they were teaching I already knew. Deck kept our brainpower up to match our bodies; I just got bored trying to hold back. I went on the streets for a while until Cindy took me in, set it up for me to live with Kendra"  
  
Logan didn't know how to respond to that. He knew that she didn't tell him this so he could pity her, she just wanted to share her own high school experience, short as it was, since he had done the same.  
  
They found the room relatively easily. Max could hear all the commotion coming from inside, about fifteen different voices speaking at once.  
  
"Lady wasn't kidding" Max said "Crash isn't even this loud when the drunks go at it" she was about to knock, but then figured that there was no way in hell anyone would hear her over all the incessant talking, so she just walked through the unlocked door.  
  
The setting of the room reminded Logan of more of a college lecture hall then a high school classroom. The desks sat on built in cement risers in the floor, leaving a large space out in front for the instructor.  
  
The voices continued but then stopped as the two walked through. Logan pretty much knew why. Manticore had given Max incredible beauty, and even though Max herself didn't flaunt it regularly, it still had its desired effect on men, and of course hormonal teenage boys. Her slender, well built body tucked into a red tank and black leather was now the focus of every male student in the room.  
  
A few of them catcalled "Can't our exam be on that?"  
  
"Guys that's enough" Sam insisted, turning to look at his guests "I'm sorry about that miss, is there something I can help you with?"  
  
"Can never picture myself in that look" Kierstin titled in her desk to talk to Kristin "Can't show off my nice legs"  
  
"She looks like she's from "Gangster's Paradise" Kristin returned  
  
"She can take me there anytime" Tom Salamay spoke out "That's one nice chick"  
  
Kierstin pounced on him "You did not just do that to me-" she hit him with her bag   
  
Coolston laid out the map on his desk "Hang tight guys" he told his class "See-" he pointed on a part of the map "You should've gotten off at exit fifteen, that would've gotten you on state road 12, and that's accessed to Chaton"  
  
"How would you get there from here?" Max asked him  
  
"Take East road down here, then make a right at Church street, follow it out and-" he paused to rub the back of his head "From there you should be able to find some signs to Chaton"  
  
"You sure about this?" Max asked  
  
"I've driven that road a hundred times ma'am I give you my word" Sam reassured  
  
"Guess we shouldn't have used Alec's directions" Logan pointed out.  
  
Max whirled on him "And whose would we have used Einstein, yours? It was correct until you missed the turn"  
  
"You were holding the map" Logan came back  
  
"He's you're cousin Logan" Max told him "Are you saying you don't know where he lives?"  
  
"I haven't seen him in a while" Logan returned, "Which is why we're driving up there"  
  
"He is so fine" Kierstin praised Logan "Like Brad Pit meets-"  
  
"Leo" Kristin finished  
  
"Can't you just picture us?" Kierstin sighed, eyeing him while he and Max were arguing  
  
"Like I hardly doubt you'd ever wind up with a guy like that," Kristin said "Not in this centaury"  
  
"Why not?" Kierstin asked, "I just might be his angel" she looked over at Thomas "But not now boo boo" she gave him an air kiss.   
  
"All the worlds a stage guys" Sam rationalized to the couple "Plays sometimes have twists that we don't expect"  
  
"Also has entrances and EXITS we don't expect either" Max emphasized the word 'exit' to Logan.  
  
"It finishes that one man in his time plays many parts Max" Logan interrupted.  
  
"Yeah, getting lost, and getting completely lost" Max retorted.  
  
"What play is that from?" Ellawese suddenly asked from the back of the room. Since Josie left she missed the conversation of Shakespeare outside the discussion of Hamlet being a fine man in the movie. "I mean I know it comes from Shakespeare-"  
  
Max broke away from the argument to look at Ella "It's from The Tempest" Max answered her question.  
  
"I thought so" Ella answered, "Isn't that the one with a storm, and the capture of the Spaniard daughter?"   
  
"Yeah" Max answered her remembering how this play was used in strategies /"And they vanish in to air" Lydecker walked down the firing range addressing the X5 Unit "You must attack and dissapear as fast as you launch" he faced the squadron completely  
"Into thin air"/  
  
She broke out of her thoughts, and turned to Coolston "Thanks for the info, and we're sorry we interrupted your class."  
  
"That's alright miss, I was glad I could help." he bent closer to her ear "Sorry for my students hormones, your husband's the understanding type I see."  
  
Max looked at Logan at this remark, not saying anything, not wanting to tell her tales to a total stranger. She moved to turn around and bumped into Sam's desk, knocking his hockey mask onto the floor.   
  
"Let me get that" Sam started to pick it up but Max stopped him  
  
"No it was my bad, I'll get it" She bent over and picked up the mask. Before she could stand back up fully Tom took the meter stick lying against the wall and poked her with it. "Sweet like candy"  
  
"Tom, what do you think you're doing?" Coolston shouted   
  
"Just poking around Mr. Coolston" Tom returned making everyone laugh.  
  
Coolston looked up to Max "I'm really sorry ma'am-"   
  
Max headed over to Salamay's desk "What the hell was that?"  
  
"Everything you want it to be honey-"  
  
Max didn't let him finish, before she yanked him out of his seat, gripping his shirt in her hand "I'm ain't your honey kid. Touch me again, and you're gettin' the short end of the stick." she dropped him back in his chair "Now why don't you stop disrespecting your teacher and me so you can graduate and make it out to start your work phrase of "do you want fries with that?"  
  
Max's burn of Tom was received with loud "ooo's"  
  
"Hey don't talk to my boo boo that way" Kierstin defended, glaring down the other woman, while airing out the nail polish she had just put on.  
  
"Sweetie I suggest you worry bout more things then your hair, nails, and your 'boo boo' if you want to make it in a real world that doesn't give a crap about how much your manicure cost" Max dropped these words of advise on Kierstin, before stepping down from the raised area /Wonder if I would've been like that at 17 had I not been at Manticore/  
  
Kierstin reeled back from the diss./One things for sure, I'm not growing up to be like her. She has no sense of style. I could never wear leather pants/  
  
"Thanks for the directions" Logan said to Sam after Max re-joined him. "Okay if I hold the door open for a lady?"  
  
"I'm not a lady" Max reminded  
  
"Sorry how about for a woman?" he corrected  
  
"Might swing" Max offered him a smile, as she walked past the door.  
  
They got back in the car "Glad I left high school when I did" Max spoke out when the car was pulling out of the parking space  
"Those guys are lost in their world, and their gonna get a major culture shock when they leave"  
  
"They'll learn" Logan responded, heading back out onto the road. "Everyone eventually does."  
  
*****   
  
END  
  
Well that was different for me, I've never written a movie/TV crossover before. It got weird doing the dialogue between Kierstin and Max since they are the same actress. But Alba's voice wasn't as deep as it is now, so it made it easier.  
  
Did you notice how I related Kierstin and Max to each other in their thoughts? Like when Kierstin said that she could be Logan's "angel"   
  
This was fun to write and to compare how Jess has grown since that movie. And btw I like her hair better now. R/R please 


End file.
